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Years of lust
Has caused you a lifetime of regret

Regret,
of abandoning the one
who held your heart
and embraced your soul
through 7 dark years

Regret,
for not understanding
that this world is full of unwarranted test
and desperate women striving
to remove a Queen’s crown

Regret,
for being the sole reason
why she thought she could

Regret,
for thinking you were her only one
Such a little fool

Regret,
because she was suppose to be your #2
but you were her #2 all along

Regret,
for paving a deceptive path
Please add it your long list of skills

Regret,
for really thinking
that you could desert
the human seeds you planted
and start a flourishing garden
with a dried fig

Regret,
for trying to use your grandmother’s advice
“Just start a new family, baby”
against the family that made you, You.

Salaams. My name is Rasha. I’m writing this letter from the Metro State Prison Mental Health Unit in Georgia. I was secretly in a polygyny marriage for 4 years. My husband had informed me when we first met that his wife was not entirely against the idea of a polygyny lifestyle, she just didn’t think it was right for their marriage at that time. He explained how she often complained about him working around the clock, leaving no time for them and their 3 children together as a family, or for them together alone. If he could just learn to manage his time, she would possibly consider it.

However, although what she complained about was true, it wasn’t her decision. It was his decision. It was his right to do as he pleased in terms of taking on another wife. I understood the situation he was in. I also understood that he couldn’t hold any financial responsibility in our relationship if we were to wed, but I was okay with this. He was truthful from the beginning, stating, “My pockets may only be able to afford one wife, but my heart has room for two”.

I fell deep in love over the 7 months we dated, eventually marrying him with strange and daring stipulations. He couldn’t afford to pay for my living expenses, and at that time, I was a college student living with a close friend. He wanted me to at least have equal time with him as his first wife did so he came up with a plan.

For 4 years, I secretly lived in a separate room in which my husband kept locked; in back of the basement of his first wife’s home. During the day, I would attend classes, study at the library and visit my parents, and friends. I worked evenings as well, so my day would pretty much end around 9:30 PM or so. By that time, my husband’s children would be sleep, and his first wife would either be sleep as well, or resting in her room on the 3rd floor.

Every night, I would wait in my car on the corner of the street. Waiting. . .for my husband to call me to let me know it was safe to come in.

I really would like to share my entire story with you. Will you be my pen pal?

Lailah unveiled

Est. 1981

Regret

Hushed Darkness Part 1